


I Can't Take You Anywhere

by FeralScribe



Series: Widomauk Week 2019 Prompts [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Desk Sex, Don’t copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Formal event, M/M, Oral Sex, Other, Sneaking out of a party, Widomauk Week, and also having sex in Caleb's office when they're supposed to be at a gallery opening, because Molly gets bored easily and knows Caleb doesn't like crowds anyway, just two men being adorably in love with each other, widomauk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 13:03:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19132576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralScribe/pseuds/FeralScribe
Summary: The opening event for Caleb's latest rare manuscript gallery is not nearly as fun as Molly would like it to be. Fortunately, Molly has a little something planned so he and Caleb can have a little private fun elsewhere.





	I Can't Take You Anywhere

As much as Molly loves a good party, he _hates_ black-tie events. Or rather, he hates wearing black-tie to a black-tie event. He has crashed a few in wildly inappropriate attire then had an absolutely wonderful time. However, Caleb is very proud of this collection and he wants to make a good impression on the Cobalt Reserve’s investors. It’s the culmination of several years’ worth of archiving and curating and Molly is _incredibly_ proud of him. Still, Molly has his doubts that half the stuffed shirts in this room actually give a damn about Age of Arcanum literature.

There are two things saving Molly from going crazy tonight. The first is that Beau brought Jester as her plus one so aside from the fact that Molly is not the only tiefling in the building, he and Jester get to gossip to each other in Infernal. It’s also hilarious to watch her strike up casual conversations with people who she knows through her mom, but who don’t know that that’s how she knows them.

The second is a little secret that brings a smile to Molly’s lips whenever he thinks about it. He waits until Caleb has spoken to all the people who actually matter before he puts his arm around his partner’s shoulders to whisper it in his ear.

“I’m not wearing any underwear.”

Caleb turns bright pink and whimpers under his breath. “ _Schatz_ , _bitte_ ,” he chokes. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” Molly asks with a grin.

“One more hour. You couldn’t wait one more hour?”

Molly moves his hand down to Caleb’s waist. “Can you?”

Another VIP comes up to congratulate Caleb on the collection. “Very impressive, Herr Widogast,” they say, shaking Caleb’s hand. “A true treasure for enthusiasts across Exandria. I heard a good amount of these come from the branch of the Reserve over in Tal’Dorei, but weren’t their archives damaged during that awful terrorist attack a few decades ago?”

“Believe me, Madam Vaethir,” Caleb says, “I was as surprised as you are, if not more so. Sadly I am aware that they had far more than this before the Conclave, but ironically it is because these were the less impressive artifacts that they were spared. They tell me they found these in one of their more out-of-the-way basement vaults that no one had even entered since the rebuilding of Emon. As you said, a true treasure for historians and practitioners alike.”

Molly is already bored of this conversation and he isn’t even in it. Nearly everyone pretends he doesn’t exist when they come to talk to Caleb. Even when Caleb introduces him they throw a meager word or two of pleasantries at him before he becomes invisible again. Jester is over at the dessert table arranging the mini eclairs and cream puffs into what Molly can only assume is a tasteful spread of dicks. He unwinds his arm from Caleb’s waist to join her. Caleb catches his hand.

“Madam Vaethir, if you will excuse me, I have some business to attend to in my office. Please, enjoy yourself. I will be back in a short while.”

“Of course, of course. There was that one manuscript I was simply dying to get a closer look at — you know, the one with the marvelous illustrations of the ascension of the Raven Queen — and I would love to discuss it with you when you have the time.”

Caleb puts on a smile that Molly could tell is fake from a mile away. “Absolutely. Erm, excuse me.” Caleb tugs Molly’s hand once then drops it so he isn’t obviously dragging him away from the crowd.

Beau takes notice of their departure. She glowers at them jealously. Dairon is keeping her close so she can learn proper etiquette whether she likes it or not. At least she gets to wear her formal Cobalt Soul uniform, which is far more comfortable than a three-piece suit. Molly waves at her and winks. She scowls in return. Dairon darts an elbow into her side to make her put her pleasant hosting face back on.

Caleb swipes his ID card at the employees’ elevator. He hasn’t said a word, but his body language is screaming impatience. Once they’re inside and out of view from the hallway, Molly kisses him. Caleb relents to his partner’s advances for a second or two, then pushes Molly away. “The camera!” he hisses.

Molly glances up at the black bubble in the top corner of the elevator that’s watching their every move. He scoffs. “They’re probably thrilled to have some entertainment. In fact, I think Bryce said they were working security tonight. Hi Bryce!” Molly holds up his hands in the shape of a heart at the camera.

Caleb groans. “Poor Bryce. How many times have they come across us while we’re...” He clears his throat.

“If I didn’t know them any better I’d say they do it on purpose. Nah, they just have a knack for being in the wrong place at the right time. You’d think after a while they’d stop letting me into the building to distract you from work. Except tonight I’m a respected guest and I’ve been on my _best behavior_.”

Caleb rolls his eyes with a chuckle. He slaps the button for the basement. “I wouldn’t call it your best, but at least you and Jester haven’t pulled any pranks. Or rather, not obvious ones.”

Molly grins. Several people are walking around that party with slips of paper in their pockets that say “The Traveler is the TITS!” and so far Molly doesn’t think any of them have realized it. He got three, but Jester is more bold with her unsolicited physical contact and she’d gotten eight people at his last count.

They practically sprint down the hall to Caleb’s office. The one downside of not wearing underwear is that in Molly’s rush his semi-hard cock keeps bouncing off his thigh and his balls come dangerously close to getting smushed a few times. Fortunately it’s not that far. Caleb gets to the door first and unlocks it. He fumbles with the key and the magical component of the lock, but once it’s open he grabs Molly by the lapel and yanks him inside.

Caleb pins Molly to the back of the door, slamming it shut. He’s a couple inches shorter than Molly, but Molly is used to dipping his head so Caleb can press a hard kiss to his mouth.

“Mmm, careful, I have to return this tomorrow.”

“If you were so concerned about your rental tux you should have worn underwear,” Caleb says, kissing Molly again then moving down to nip at his jaw.

Molly sighs and holds Caleb close. “I have _impeccable_ hygiene, as you well know. I’m as clean as the inside of your display cases down there. Besides, as bothersome as this suit is, the fabric feels _very_ nice on my junk.”

Caleb smirks. “What? Better than my hand?”

“Few things feel better than your hand, love.”

“ _Ja_?” Caleb unzips Molly’s pants, leaving the button clasped. He reaches in to play with Molly’s cock as he nuzzles his neck. Molly moans. “Is this what you wanted, _H_ _übscher_? Did you want me to stroke you off while you’re all dressed up?”

“Among other things…” Molly gropes between Caleb’s legs. He’s already rock hard. “I need you inside me, darling. _Please_.” Caleb throbs in his hand. “Nnnff, I’ll take that as an ‘Of course, my love. I’d be happy to pound your pretty ass.’”

Caleb growls in affirmation.

They don’t bother turning the lights on. Molly can see fine and he leads Caleb to his large cluttered desk. From there, Caleb reaches into the top drawer, finds the little snuff box full of phosphorescent moss, and causes one of the papers at the bottom of a stack to light up. Its position prevents it from being blinding. It gives off just enough to illuminate the room in a sultry red glow. Aside from setting the mood, Caleb likes getting a rush of arcane energy in his blood before sex, even if it’s from such a simple cantrip.

“Clear a space for yourself,” Caleb orders.

Molly moves things aside, making sure to keep the enchanted page towards the top of the pile so it isn’t completely smothered. Meanwhile, Caleb opens the false-bottom drawer and retrieves the items they’ll need. Molly likes to surprise him at work, so they keep a stash of condoms, gloves, lubricant, and wet wipes well-stocked in there.

Before Caleb can use any of those, Molly hooks one arm around his head and wraps the other around Caleb’s waist, pulling him into a heated kiss. “Have I told you how absolutely gorgeous you are in that suit?” he asks.

“I don’t think it has come up, no,” Caleb replies with a grin, popping open the strap above Molly’s tail.

Since the moment Molly first saw Caleb in his tuxedo, he has gushed about how good he looks in it no fewer than nine times. The whole ride to the opening he calmed Caleb’s nerves by saying, “If you feel like people are staring at you, it’s because they’re in awe of you. They’ll think one of those old texts accidentally summoned a forgotten god of beauty.”

But now Molly wants to tear it off him. He wants Caleb in all his natural glory. He wants Caleb’s sweat-slicked skin against his own. Both their suits were expensive, though, and it would be a shame to ruin them. His own tux was especially costly because so few brands make dress pants designed for people with tails. Perhaps someday Molly will find a similar tux for Caleb at his favorite thrift store, one he can rip to shreds during foreplay. His cock swells in Caleb’s hand at the thought.

“Aha,” Caleb says. “Can’t wait another moment, can you _mein Schatz_? Thinking about how I’m about to bend you over and give you what you deserve?”

“Mm _hmm_.” Molly strokes Caleb through his pants. Caleb could honestly have a scroll case in his pocket and Molly wouldn’t know the difference until he realized there was no pulse. However, the harder he squeezes the more clearly he can feel the rush of Caleb’s blood beneath his fingertips. “Seems you can’t wait to be inside me either.”

“You’re right. I can’t.” Caleb yanks open the front button of Molly’s pants and shoves them down over his hips. Molly gives into the strength of his hands as Caleb forces him onto the desk, ass exposed. “But first, let’s get you ready...”

Molly caresses his tail up and down Caleb’s crotch while Caleb snaps on a rubber glove and coats his fingers in lube. “Maybe we should attend events like this more often,” Molly purrs. “Or maybe I should just stop wearing underwear altogether, if it turns you on this much.”

“You _devil_ ,” Caleb hisses, plunging his finger as far as it will go into Molly. “You absolute _devil_.”

Molly squeals and shudders. His tail quivers against Caleb’s chest. “Ohhhh… Be honest, you needed a break.”

“Yes, but this was… it was _premeditated_.” Caleb strokes Molly’s insides. His other hand tugs Molly’s tail just hard enough to make him gasp. “You came here knowing you were going to pull me away at some point. I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Aaahh _aaauhhhhh_ darling you and I both know you— you— _Gods, fuck me that’s so good—_ You can only stand crowds for so long. I knew you would need a rescue eventually, and— _HHHNG!_ ” Molly digs his nails into the desk as Caleb adds another finger, pushing them both directly into his prostate. His tail goes rigid in Caleb’s grip.

Caleb slides his hand up Molly’s tail and brings it to his mouth. He gives it a few long slow kisses, followed by a playful bite. “But you could have told me. Instead you spring it on me in the middle of the exhibition room like that. You wicked little thing. I should lock you in here then go take care of myself in the bathroom.”

“You won’t,” Molly teases. “Not when my ass is right here ready and waiting for you, my love.” He grins. “Besides, if you left me in here I’d hump your chair and leave a big mess.”

Caleb bites him again, shaking his head to toy with Molly’s tail. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

They’re both too impatient for the foreplay to last long. Caleb still checks in to make sure Molly thinks he’s ready before putting on his condom. After all, disappearing for a little while from an event that exists solely because of your work is one thing; disappearing and coming back with a limping partner is far more obvious. Not that Molly would mind. He would proudly announce to the whole room upstairs that he got fucked by Caleb Widogast. To him, there’s no greater honor.

Molly spreads himself while Caleb holds up his tail in one hand and uses the other to guide himself into Molly’s hole. They moan a shared sigh of contentment.

“Gods, I love you, Mollymauk.”

“I love you too, Caleb.” That’s about all Molly can say. His mind is preoccupied with the sensation of Caleb’s cock stretching him and sliding deeper and deeper. He pants with short shallow breaths. “Uuuuuhhf, Caleb, _yes_. Every inch. I want _every inch_. Please? Preh— Pre _hhhhhitty_ please?”

“Where were those manners earlier?” Caleb pulls out so only his tip remains inside Molly. “You could not have said ‘Excuse me’ or ‘Is this a good time?’ Instead you surprise me when you know I won’t be able to resist you?” He strokes the small of Molly’s back. “You are a devil and I love you for it.” With that he slams himself to the hilt up Molly’s ass.

Molly screams out in grateful ecstasy. His hands scramble to find purchase on the surface of the desk, not because they can’t — they’ve done this enough times that Molly knows where the best handholds are without even looking — but because Caleb likes it when he is flustered and desperate. He scratches hard enough to make sound, but not so much that his nails tear up the wood. Caleb grabs him by the hips with both hands. Molly wraps his tail around Caleb’s waist. Together they pull each other closer as Caleb mercilessly fucks his beloved tiefling and Molly cries out his beloved human’s name.

“Ohh, Caleb— Caleb— _Caleb— Caaaaleb— Caleb fuck, fuck, fffuck me yes, there! There!_ Harder! _Harder! Hnnnnnnnnn—_ ”

Caleb does as he is told. Once some of his lust is satisfied he strokes Molly’s cock. Molly thrusts into Caleb’s palm.

“Don’t you _dare_ get a single _drop_ on this desk,” Caleb growls. Molly has finished on the desk’s surface more than once. It doesn’t stain so long as they wipe it up quickly, but the scent tends to linger. The way Caleb is railing him, Molly might not be able to control himself.

There isn’t really a bad way to fuck Caleb. These spontaneous sessions are fun and exciting, without a doubt, but Molly loves a good tease. Sometimes he’ll strut around their apartment in nothing but a long baggy T-shirt so whenever he lifts his tail Caleb gets a good view of his ass, then Caleb will take him on the couch or the kitchen counter if he can’t wait long enough to get to the bedroom. Or Molly will find reasons to stand directly behind Caleb and rest his chin on Caleb’s shoulder, gently nudging him with his crotch until Caleb is completely red in the face and struggling to breathe normally. But then there are the days when neither of them wants to leave bed in the morning, so they’ll snuggle and fondle each other, sometimes for hours on end, not really working towards an orgasm but it’s nice when it happens.

Here and now, they’re racing to finish. Molly is sore when Caleb cums, both hands grasping Molly’s horns by their bases and his hot panting breaths ruffling the hair on Molly’s neck. Molly pushes back into Caleb’s cock while Caleb tries to dismount him. He’s so close to his own orgasm. Caleb lifts the back of Molly’s jacket and shirt to kiss him lazily above the base of his tail. With his other hand Caleb uses one of the wet wipes to clean up the mess he made of Molly’s entrance. Molly melts onto the desk from the dual sensations. His guts feel like he swallowed a firework that’s itching to go off.

“Caleb…” he whimpers. “Please…”

Caleb pulls him up gently then spins him around to kiss him hard. “To the chair?” he asks.

Molly nods. “The chair.”

With one parting kiss, Caleb starts to unbutton his shirt and goes over to the armchair in the corner of his office. Molly takes his pants all the way off. He looks away for a moment to kick off his shoes, and when he turns his attention back to Caleb he is greeted by the sight of his partner seated seductively, the jacket and undershirt of his suit completely open. Gods, Caleb looks so fucking distinguished and sexy sitting there with his chest bared. His coarse auburn hair shines like copper in the arcane light. Molly walks over and runs his fingers through it, feeling for Caleb’s heartbeat. It’s there, strong and hard, pumping with delight at his presence. Molly’s heart is going even faster in anticipation. He climbs up, balancing his legs on either arm of the “conveniently” shaped chair. They picked it out together, specifically so it would be comfy for reading and sturdy enough for fun. With the added height, Molly’s cock is in the perfect position for Caleb to suck him off.

Molly inhales a shaky whimper as Caleb swirls his tongue around Molly’s cockhead. It won’t take long for Molly to cum, but he does love Caleb’s mouth so very much and wishes they could do this all night. Whether they’re kissing or playfully nipping each other or licking and sucking during sex, Molly can’t get enough of that mouth. Caleb is so good at pleasing him. His lips have even gotten used to keeping pressure around the shallow ridges that line the underside of Molly’s cock. Caleb squeezes Molly’s ass with both hands. Molly winds his tail around his leg and Caleb’s arm to hold him there. The cuffs of Caleb’s sleeves tickle his thighs. Molly grabs a fistful of pretty red hair and uses the leverage to fuck that sweet skillful mouth.

What really does it for Molly is how much Caleb is enjoying himself. Caleb hums and moans around his mouthful. His little noises speak volumes. They sing Molly’s praises, declare undying love, thank him for this pleasure and beg for more. Occasionally he’ll tap Molly’s hip in their established signal that he needs to breathe, but even then he kisses and licks Molly’s shaft like the taste of him is the only thing keeping him alive.

The hot tight ball of pleasure in Molly’s core grows and grows until there’s nowhere else for it to go but out. He holds it back as long as he can, but all it takes is one soft pleading murmur of “Molly?” from Caleb’s lips against his cockhead to push Molly to the point of no return.

“Yes, Caleb. _Yes_.”

Caleb curves his tongue to hold Molly’s cock in place as a stream of cum shoots into his mouth. Molly grips the back of the armchair, shoulders bunched and tail tight. His cock twitches as his balls expel the rest of their load, then the exhaustion sets in. Caleb licks the last drop from his slit, causing Molly to inhale in a sharp hissing whine.

“ _Komm hier, Süßer_ ,” Caleb says. Molly lowers himself from the arms of the chair to straddle Caleb, who pulls him into an embrace. For a moment the world turns gently in time to their heavy breathing and galloping hearts. Everything slows as they come down from the high of their climaxes. Caleb strings a necklace of kisses across Molly’s throat. Molly buries his nose in Caleb’s hair. The scent of ginger and lemon balm fills his lungs and spreads through his nerves like a warm soothing mist. His tail droops over the edge of the armchair.

“Darling,” Molly murmurs, pressing kiss after adoring kiss to the top of Caleb’s head. “You treat me so well.”

“ _Du auch_ ,” Caleb replies. He pets Molly’s tail. The tip curls in response, though the rest is too tired for anything else. Caleb kisses between Molly’s collarbones. “ _Danke_. I really did need this.”

Molly chuckles softly. “I know.”

Caleb used to be more self-indulgent in his youth, but training and trauma had frightened it out of him. Molly knows him well enough to recognize the spark of want in his eyes, the intrigue in his posture, the flinch when the voices in his head tell him “ _Das ist verboten_.” In those moments when Caleb yearns for freedom, Molly kicks open the door to his mental cage and plays the part of Caleb’s forgotten impulsiveness. That way Caleb can give in to his urges while Molly takes the blame for any bad decisions. Little by little, Caleb is learning it’s okay to want things and ask for them, even if they are extremely naughty. However, Molly has gotten used to anticipating these wants so if Caleb can’t bring himself to ask, Molly is ready to do them anyway.

They rearrange themselves so Molly is sitting in Caleb’s lap, arms around his shoulders and their temples touching as they breathe in sync with each other. Molly winds his tail around Caleb’s ankle. He slips the tip up the leg of Caleb’s pants to tickle him. Caleb swallows a giggle. Molly kisses him.

“Love you, darling.”

“ _Ich dich auch, Schatz._ ”

Once their bodies cool and their hearts calm down, Caleb takes a packet of mints out of his jacket pocket. He picks one out and pops it into his mouth.

“Can I share that with you?” Molly asks.

Caleb looks at him for a moment, jaw twisted to one side. He offers Molly the packet.

“I don’t need a whole one, just enough to freshen me up a little.”

The mint in Caleb’s mouth clacks against his teeth as he pushes it around with his tongue. “ _Schatz_...”

Molly twirls a bit of Caleb’s hair around one finger. “Please?” he asks, batting his eyelashes.

For a moment it seems like it won’t work. But it always works. “Fine,” Caleb sighs. His smile betrays his true thoughts. After all, any reason to kiss so deeply is a good reason.

Caleb balances the mint on the end of his tongue. Molly takes it with the forked end of his own, then follows through to press his lips to Caleb’s. They pass the mint back and forth between them. Molly steals it at one point, closing his mouth tight and giggling to himself. No matter how many kisses Caleb gives him as bribes, he does not relent. Caleb finally holds Molly by the jaw and presses his thumb hard enough into Molly’s cheek to pry his teeth apart. Molly sticks his tongue out as though Caleb had just triggered the mechanism for some hidden compartment in a statue, but instead of a jewel or key, there is a mint. He laughs at his own antics, which makes Caleb laugh as well.

“Devil,” Caleb chuckles as he pulls Molly’s mouth to his and takes his mint back.

Molly lets out a satisfied, mildly minty sigh. “Do you think people will mind if you’re gone for another half hour or so?”

Caleb droops his head onto Molly’s shoulder and groans. “Gods, I wish they wouldn’t, but people are probably preparing to leave by now and they’ll want to say goodbye to me.”

“Hm, you’re probably right, as usual.” Molly twirls one finger in Caleb’s chest hair. “Too bad, ‘cause you just gave my tongue some ideas of how it wants to spend the rest of the night, except perhaps somewhere lower…” He winks.

“…And now I _really_ don’t want to go back up there.” Caleb pats Molly on the thigh, indicating he should move. Molly does so quite reluctantly. “Let’s compromise,” Caleb says. “We will go back to the party, and _we_ will say our goodbyes to everyone, and hopefully by the time we get home your tongue will still be in a mood.”

Molly grins. “Or we could do it in the parking lot.”

Caleb was pushing himself out of the chair, but his elbows buckle and he collapses right back down. His ears and cheeks flush red. “I really can’t take you anywhere.”

“Oh, you can,” Molly laughs, “but no matter where we go I’ve only got one thing on my mind.”

“Do you, my devil?”

“Mhm.” Molly pulls Caleb to his feet and right up against his chest. “I’m thinking about how much I love you and how badly I want to please you, however you may want me to.”

Caleb looks surprised for half a second, but then he smiles with pure smitten adoration. “You please me every day, Molly. You please me by being yourself and being with me. I still don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Molly grins. “Well, the fact that you’re incredibly sexy helps.” He pecks Caleb on the cheek. “Then you impressed me with your wit.” He pecks the other cheek. “Then you won me over with your endearingly nerdy charisma.” He kisses Caleb on the nose. “Then I couldn’t help but fall madly in love with you.”

Caleb beats Molly to the kiss, thrusting his mouth to Molly’s and clutching him tight. Molly smiles against Caleb’s lips then kisses him back.

“I would not be the man I am today without you,” Caleb says.

“Likewise. I’d have been in jail…eh…at least four times for breaking whatever laws they have against fun.” Molly scoops Caleb off the ground in a hug, tail flexed for balance. “You are a more than adequate source of fun,” he says before setting Caleb back down.

Caleb chuckles. “I am glad you think so.”

Molly kisses him again. “Well, speaking of fun — or in this case things that aren’t so much — let’s head back upstairs so we can _leave_.”

“Agreed.” Caleb extinguishes the light on his desk. Molly gathers his pants and shoes and carries them to the door. “Molly,” Caleb says, “put those back on.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“ _Schaaatz…_ ”

“I’ll put them on in the elevator.”

“I’m going to lock you in here.”

“I’ll have to eat all your spell components to survive.”

“What, even the incense?”

“ _Especially_ the incense. It’s spicy.”

“Gods, I honestly cannot take you _anywhere_.”

“You can take me home.”

“Ah really? And what sort of mischief will you get up to there?”

“Oh, you’ll see…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leaves kudos and comments, and if you want to support my work even more you can find me on Ko-fi under the same name!


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